lost..never be back again..

it has been awhile since my last update. and in that while. i've lost one of my trusted and closest friend. Doster. that's his name. i've never thought i could lost a friend like him. he's always been the one with the jokes and laughter. everybody seems to be happy when he is around and, i know that for sure because we all still laugh when we remember the good times we had with him. i don't even regard him as a friend but, as one of my brothers. we always have that brotherhood bonds in our band. i know i've always been a really good friend. we always fight and argue in most of the things but, brothers also had fights right? i still remember when we argue all over the weekend when we're doing a gig in Mukah. he's always been the one with the big mouth. he's the funniest guy i've ever known. but, sadly on 17 January 2010. he left us without even saying goodbye. it has been a hard time for him to undergo such a tiring and painful treatment. hmm..the clocks seem to stop ticking the minute i receive the bad news. i've never cried that bad ever since form 5. You'll always be remembered my friend. eventhough you're not here with us. but you'll live on in our melodies and lyrics... Rest In Peace..

never had a chance!

it' been a while since last post and i've never truly had a chance to write a blog bcoz simply, broadband connection totally sucks and i've been busy. hmm..i felt terribly down today.. everything seems to be fuck up in a way that i totally mess everything for me. i just don't know what to say and i do what i'm doing the best..drink till you are drunk! i know and i believe my addiction to nicotine which is harazdous anyway totally help to sort out the pain inside..you will know that i'm not in the mood when you see me smoking the fag continously till i sleep..and that's what i do today..hmm..what life's all about anyway? when life seems to be fucked up and you know nothing on how to solve it..thanks god..i finally found a room mate which suits me well..i'm not a coosy person but, in this case...i don't want to have mate that i can't talk to..well..here it is my life! totally fucked up shit!

so what changes in last two decades??

it's 2010! yeah, i celebrate another new year here in Kuching. not quite really having fun but, it's ok. so what changes in the last two decades (nearly)??? hmm...a lot..it seems that i can't never leave behind my past..it keeps on haunting me and i've keep on thinking 'if's. do i regret over the past? maybe. do i have anything to regret? i don't know. live continue as it is. i'm really determine to shed off few unnecessary kilos this year! i don't want to be plaque with all kind of diseases when i'm old. i've love, i've hate, i've been knocked under. that's my live, seems pretty obvious, we can't get everything that we want in this life. not that beautiful girl you use to adore. not that nice car that you see. not that big wonderful house that you love. seems a bit pessimistic but, i know what to expect in my life. that's life all about. anyway, welcome to our second year together dear, i love you, Michelle.

back to Kch! KCH?? argh...

finally after weeks of sleeping, doing nothing, lepaking, jamming, gurau-gurau-ing and everything which is considered as time wasting to all, i'll be going back to Kch to continue my study for the 2nd year or 3rd semester! yeah..yeah?? am i happy to be back in Kch for more studying???? huh~ i guess..i'm ready..i'm ready..i'll definitely miss sibu..hell yeah, my family and friends are in sibu.. i don't think i've a real friend in Kch..everybody seems to be a lil' fucked up..i juz wanna be happy.. and yes, i juz wanna live..2010..you come so soon..time goes by, time flies and yeah..it leaves us behind..so cherish every moment you had..live life to the fullest..go beyond everything..you won't realise when you became boring and dull and old..well, i'll be back for February during CNY for HARDCORE FEST 09'! Ha3..can't wait! what should i do when i'm back in Kch??

A) get more tattoos
B) get drunk and crunk
C) sleep????
D) study -.-'
E) enjoy and live life to the fullest

Ha3..which of it???? which???

arghh..this is the drum that i should be covering this monday!

so what do you think???? can i play it??? arghh..it's all up to me now!

Of pukimak and wake the dead!

hahahah~ it's a tiring day for me! this 21st i'll be performing with my project band.. LibraStripp of which the name was taken from me thinking that a Libra would be so sexy if they are stripping..the ladies i mean~ ha3..my band radioholic will take a break..a rest that must! now why i play core stuffs anyway?? i want to experiment with all kinds of genre..don't u call urself a musician if you don't play or listen to other genre..it's not wrong to try isn't it?? it's not wrong to change isn't it? for some it may sound that i'm just another Naratu or Comeback kid wannabe..for me..i just wanna learn..there's nothing wrong in learning right? ermm..

hmm..my drumming going down the drain..

it has been months since the last time i play drums along with my friends..sadly, the skills which took me quite awhile to learn finally..no more..hmm..arghh..fucked up! i really wish i could play like the last time..my hands and legs doing the perfect rhythm and i really can play..now, with my twin pedal far from my sight..my legs can't even play a simple beat of it..damn..i realised this when i joined my friend for a jamm session..songs from Eyes Set To Kill..arghh....it feels so hard..so fking hard! i hope i'll be able to regain my beat and tempo..hmm~